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Cool Blog: FIRST TIME AUDITIONS FIRSTTIMEAUDITIONS.COM slowly I did get accustomed to the idea. I won't lie and say that I was ecstatic about it emotionally but intellectually I could accept it, and emotionally, I could bear it. I actually lost all contact with Kim after we exchanged emails when she told me she was seeing the guy and like I'm supposed to do, I wrote back and told her how happy I was. She then called. We talked about lots of things but in the course of that, we both agreed that it wouldn't be appropriate for us to "see each other the way we did in Santa Fe and in Durham" anymore. As she phrased it, "I am kinda serious about Jason, and you're pretty serious about Stacy, so that probably makes sense." And it did. So, a few months later, I got very excited but somewhat frightened when I got a call from Jean inviting me to a big party that they were throwing for their 25th wedding anniversary. I knew I'd be seeing Kim and I wanted to do that, but at the same time, it felt awkward and strange. I knew that by then when she saw me, the first thought would be would be, "what in the fuck did I ever see in this guy? God, I must have been desperate." And frankly I didn't want to see her and know what she was thinking. But I'd already accepted the invitation before I thought of all that, and then I couldn't figure out how to get out of it. Well, I figured I'd only be there a couple of hours and then duck out to get away. How bad could it be for a couple of hours? Heck, during most of that time, Kim would be so busy with her new boyfriend or with other friends, I wouldn't see that much of her.

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